Insanity

Is what is left of my tiny brain

Dare not ask if I see logic

For I see not

Amid the madness 

And the chaos

Lies the heart

That beats for you

Know that I did

In worst of times 

Your, mine, or ours

And I do

Now

If i see you never not

Think of me 

As the one who loved

If ever

You find me missing 

And you fumble 

Trying to reach out

Know one thing for sure

That I loved with what all I had

And if I am wandering,

I would still be in love with you

So

Lost I might seem to you

Or to their eyes

Know

That I found my destination

Long back 

In you

I looked no further then

Nor I, now

 Oh

The myth

The colours that popped out

From the kaleidoscope 

I see us 

Dancing happy

In love

Ouch

Drop it, you say

It's all a farce!

Wake up from the dream

You stupid soul

She realised

Picks up her glass

And raises a toast to her stupidity

Long back

It was done

She realised not even when she sat amid the shards

Stupid, she was!

It was all colours 

And petals

The pebbles

The seeds

That i offered

It is just pain

And heartache

Grudges

I make

So what am I here for!?

 So here am i

With open palms

I let it all go

The sand

The raindrop

The moments

The hope

The love

Go

All of you

Leave me

And be

Where you belong

To the ocean

The earth

The eyes

The heart

The soul

To where you belong

Let me not hold any of you

For i am the foresaken one now

Slip on

Move on

 Honestly, no one gives a damn! 

 Why does the heart not stop beating

No one hears it now

The noise is too loud 

And the beats too faint i guess

To be heard

In the maddening cacophony 

And the euphoria

Why should anyone hear this faint beat

Just too unbearable 

As i hear it pounding 

In my chest 

Screaming to just go calm

Reduced to ash or dust am I???

I set you all free

So let this tiny pitiful heart just be

Leaning against the big, broad shoulders of his

I heard his heartbeats

He would pull me closer

To the rythm that would rhyme with mine

And i would feel at home

Smiling, i would close my eyes

Before patting a kiss on his chest close to mine

❤️

Flashback

To the evening

The wet sky

Dripping love

New bond

Two of us

Walking, splashing the water

Barefoot, us both

Fingers brushing at times

Eyes wandering not far

Hours spent

Time stopped or sprinted,

We knew not

No thought to the world

Madness in the moment

Ecstacy, more like it

Experinced for the first time

Oh! How I would love 

A downpour 

To drench us once more

This time

I will hug you tight

Feel every drop trickled 

Through you on me

Bring on the rain,

Shall we

I look not

Beyond your shoulders

Home is where I am

Peace is what I seek

In you is my us

That is enough

For this lifetime

And beyond

I talk

In an empty space

Void is all is left

My voice reaches none

I write

On a slate that is still bears the sketches you drew

And yet

You read not

Is it a sign?

Like a fool 

I murmur

That falls into deaf ears

Expressions 

Are just brushed off

I should stop i guess

For I matter not!

Let my voice fade

And you wipe off the slate

Just let me rot in the utter madness

And darkenss that has completely engulfed me

I fail to expalin and express

The chaotic churn of my heart and mind

No logic too i guess

But i am done

Everyone is done with me

I guess I have outlived my purpose

Redundant i lie 

Till whatever is left

Is snuffed out

So much of me

The insides

Are melting like wax wasted

The cold night would harden it

And the baking heat of the day would melt me back

A soul, wasted!

 He knew my eyelashes by numbers

Well almost

He knew the hidden moles

Familar with all the scars 

He had embraced me

He knew how my pupils would dilate

At his sight

How i would breathe heavy by his side

I grayed before him

And he could put a date to every sigle of my strands

He knew if my eyebrows were messed up

Or how left out was a single naughty hair

My grooming, the unkempt and disheveled me

He had seen me and he knew it all

He knew my tan marks

He could tell if i was upset by juat a glance

He knew if i would have put on one mg of body fat or lost it

He knew my misfits

And hated me in bulky clothes

He knew the colours that would lit me up

The accesories that would adorn me best

And the little things that would bring joy

The handmade jewelry 

Or the braids he strung together

The fixtures he would do to patch the messy me

The brilliant potraits that would draw awe

Capured the bestest of my profiles

Wrote notes inspiring

The petals or flowers from the wild

The scents that would make me radiate

The silver which could dull even the best sparkles

Or the random sketches 

Even the tattoo that i have on me is his

He knew i never asked for much

Nothing

I never asked foe anything but him

Then how did he miss out on something 

That was so pronounced

My heart is bleeding 

Oh! All is sucked out!

I am so drained now

Utterly unworthy i guess

How consumed i am with dejection

oh! What misery

And what fate!

 I am enclosed in a tight black box

No light

No air

I think i was crucified 

For being too selfish

So i serve my punishment

In the dark dungeon

In the tight box 

Destined to die 

Alone

With noone to mourn

After hours of endless chats

Discussing love and life

Throughout the star glazed night

They welcome The dawn

When their eyes close

They suddenly jolt and wake up

To discuss their love and life

Before embracing each other

To soak in that love and life 

They run deep 

Some on my face

Some within the soul

Each one has a story

The wrinkles or the lines etched all over 

Either I laughed and loved a lot

Or cried and shattered myself

But each is what makes me what I am

Thank you for those on me

That have brought me joy and ecstasy 

Many are due to you

Deepened over time 

As the feeling grew

So let the lines go deeper

Let them show

For that means I felt deep.

 With a galaxy full of stars

I waited

And waited

Only to realise he slept off

Till the dawn

Not keen for the glitter any longer

He wished just for the sun

Gulped so much of you

Had no words

But to say 

I do

Oh how i stumbled

And  fumbled 

Banged into strangers 

And those i know

Looking out for you

In the crowd 

I just called out

Your name aloud

Oh such freedom 

I experience 

As i call out your name aloud

I do

Is all i said

When i saw you

But that set me free

Now to wander

Beneath the greens 

I chirp

And i say

I do